Martial Arts — It’s an Old Man’s Game
Almost exactly three years ago now, my wife and I were trying to find a physical activity for our daughter to do. There’s no question that those who find a physical activity to do in life are happier and healthier, and we want that for her. However, there was a problem: she doesn’t care for sports, she’s not particularly competitive, and while she’s tough as nails she doesn’t like drawing attention to herself much.
My wife suggested martial arts to her and her ears sort of perked up. We are fortunate in our neighborhood to live near a couple of top-notch martial arts schools. Daughter and I looked at the offerings and we found an art that interested her. The school has a good Facebook presence, so I was able to chat with the instructor about what we were looking for.
It was at this point, while I was chatting with her, that I somewhat impulsively asked if she thought the two of us taking the class together was a good idea.
I’ve always had an interest in the martial arts. I grew up during the 70s and the post death-of-Bruce-Lee period brought a lot of attention to Asian martial arts. I’d been fascinated from the start. I clearly remember when I was about seven or eight, and learning that my dad had taken some traditional ju-jitsu while in college. I asked him to teach me what he remembered. And while I was excited, I got pissed off when the whole thing turned into “playing karate” with all my siblings and cousins and I didn’t learn a thing. And nothing against dad on this, I just don’t think he had gleaned that I really wanted to learn it.
And while we’d had no martial arts school in my hometown at the time, some friends and I had tried to learn some from books (which worked poorly, usually). I’d also taken some Tae Kwon Do during college and did fairly well, but fell away from it as other things had come into my life.
And I never thought I had the time to go after martial arts as I got older, so the whole love was limited to watching movies, living vicariously through video, etc.
However, here was a new possibility — taking it with one of my kids!
The instructor responded yes, she thought that our taking it together would be an excellent idea. And they had a free class offering to try things out, so on the evening of October 1 we headed off to our first martial arts class.
We had chosen the somewhat obscure art (in the US, anyway) of Gongkwon Yusul. It’s a Korean mixed martial art based on kickboxing, Hapkido (described by our instructor as “the policeman’s martial art” with throws and joint locks being dominant), and Yudo, Korean Judo (with more throws and ground techniques). It doesn’t have a whole lot of competition set up around it yet and it seemed perfect for self-defense (and what father of a daughter doesn’t want her to be able to take care of herself?). It also uses traditional uniform and manners, which I think is just as important as the physical aspects.
That first night, we learned how to fall properly (as any throwing art would require), and also some of the basic punches and kicks in the art. I was pleased to see my thirty-year-old Tae Kwon Do knowledge came in handy here, and enjoyed the physicality of it. We also learned a couple of the basic throws that night. Both daughter and I walked out feeling accomplished and invigorated. We were a little sore, but we’d had a great time and learned some great techniques. The next class we were back to learn more.
The rest is history — after three years we’re now both up to the 2nd Gup rank (brown belt in our school), with one more level between us and black belt.
But here’s the part that I want to focus most of all: starting a martial art in my 50s has been a very fulfilling journey.
I think a lot of folks would be intimidated about starting a highly physical martial art like Gongkwon Yusul at almost 51 (ten years older than even our instructor), but it felt pretty natural to me, especially doing it with my daughter. Yes, I am the oldest person in my class, and I’m perfectly okay with that as I enjoy the position.
In fact, I think starting a martial art at this age has given me some points of view that are benefiting me and the rest of my class.
I’m more patient and appreciate the process. One of the things that makes our art a little harder to learn and progress in is the great amount of material we have to learn. When you’re covering striking, grappling, throws, and the gamut of knowledge and skill that Gongkwon Yusul requires, you don’t progress quite as quickly as you might in other arts. The other arts in our instructor’s school have belt tests every three-to-four months, but we test only twice a year.
And I am perfectly okay with that. It gives us time to perfect our techniques and really “digest” them, making them part of our self-defense repertoire and cementing that muscle memory. And my age makes me more patient in this regard, I think.
I take great pleasure in the teaching aspect of the class. Many students who progress in rank rankle at the idea of having to teach the lower belts. They want to be taught the next thing constantly, to train in the techniques for their level, and to keep pushing forward with their own progress. And they see a class where they’ve only helped lower ranks with their techniques as wasted for them.
But as an older person, I think I have more of a mindset of leaving a legacy for myself and that may mean helping to teach newer students. Seeing the students that I’ve helped train progress has been a big motivator for me. And I have a passion to learn more details in skills I’ve “passed” as I’ve progressed on my own belt journey. If I can learn how someone smaller than me can do the same technique that I’m using by shifting it slightly, or figure out a way to apply a technique in sparring that someone else might not have considered yet, that helps me and the student I’m aiding that evening. And it increases my understanding of what’s possible and most effective.
I’m less competitive and more complementary. I don’t have anything to prove to people in our class. I’ve proven myself in life already and that means I don’t have to impress anyone other than myself. And I can take pleasure in making everyone around me better through my knowledge and understanding instead of feeling the need to overcome them and boost my ego. I am creating a mindset that by improving the skill of those around me I am improving myself as well. I still do my best, for myself and for them, because by giving my skill and knowledge to others I make myself better as well.
If you’ve been considering something like a martial art as a way to keep yourself in shape, keep your mind fit and sharp, and/or learn a valuable skill to improve yourself and those around you, then I would say go for it and see what you’re capable of. You don’t have to try an art like mine, which is fairly rough-and-tumble at times. Find one that suits you. There are martial arts out there for everyone, from the flowing, meditative movement of t’ai chi to the hardcore, stand-up fighting of something like MMA or Kyokushin Karate.
Talk over concerns with the instructor early on. They may tell you that the art they teach is not for you based on what you’re looking to achieve, and that’s fine. Or you might find out that something you didn’t know you wanted was actually right up your alley (for example, I didn’t expect to enjoy the grappling aspects of my art as much as I do. I thought that with my body type, the striking aspects would be more to my liking). You might get the sense that the instructor isn’t for you as well, and that’s fine. One’s choice of martial art is just that — one person’s choice.
And you’ll definitely hear different opinions on what martial arts should be. Some will be completely functional — “if it’s not good for self-defense, it’s useless” is one that you’ll hear. “If it doesn’t use forms, it’s not a real art” is another. There are many other such opinions, and that’s fine. There are hundreds of martial arts for a very good reason: not everyone is the same, and not everyone has the same motivations to take a martial art. Let your motivations and goals be your guide in choosing.
And enjoy the journey — because martial arts is a journey, and one of the most enjoyable and transformative journeys a person can take.
Do you study a martial art? Would you like to? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
